Why Am I Here?

I am experiencing the first foreign life in Penang. For three months I was embarrassed because I couldn’t speak English any more and I could not bear the hot weather. I was strained when problems were occurred.

Fortunately I got along well. Even though I couldn’t know the system of Malaysia, I rented the house, applied the telephone. I watched many exhibitions and enjoyed them. They were special experiences for us. I didn’t know Southeast Asia cultures. During my stay at this country could not only study English but also know diverse Southeast Asia cultures.

While, I have trouble with language and sudden house-moving. I had headache for one month because I couldn’t use the telephone and the internet. I transferred them to a new address in advance when I visited the telecom. The staff told me that I could use it three days later but the day passed one week.

Ten days later I again visited the telecom, unfortunately the staff asked me if I transferred it. I was surprised at the computer system was wrong. I ordered sincerely that I wanted to use the telephone as soon as possible. He repeated like the last time.

I waited for the telecom staff but nobody called me until it again passed one week. I didn’t know when he came. I only waited. I had to visit the telecom 5 times for one month. Now I can use them. I also understood that it occurred, but the staff’s conduct was rude.

My husband and I disputed the problem. We are exhausted and stuffy because we don’t know the system of Malaysia. I regretted not studying English in Korea.

I have to solve other problem. The owner of the old house didn’t return my deposit of 500RM to me. He broke an appointment. Even though I met him at Little India street, when I called him that day afternoon he lied that he stayed abroad. He is not an honest man. When I lived in his rented house he told a lie two times. So I received his signature before moving. He made an appointment that returned all deposit on 25th May. If he doesn’t return it, I will report to policeman. Even though I have to pay much money to policeman I surely receive it from him. Actually will it happen?

Everywhere it can occur but this place is foreign to us. I don’t know about Malaysia. I am an independent woman in Korea. My husband complains that I rely on him too much. Sometimes he dislikes that I don’t solve myself when a difficult problem occur. Most trouble occurs from language.

We live with strain now. I also want to be an independent woman in Penang. I often disappointed myself. When I feel it I would like to go back to my hometown. Why am I here? Why did I go there? If he hears a sound complaint he will be sad. It belongs to me. I have to solve myself the problem. That’s why it is my life.

My Lovely Japanese Friend, Aiko

I am having dinner with Aiko at seven o’clock but I have a cold so I have to cancel the appointment. I called to her and I explained my situation. She was anxious about my health

After my class finished I came back home late. Besides the weather is as hot as a glasshouse so I am very tired. I am exhausted like as a salty welsh onion. I could not prepare dinner. Then Aiko visited my house and she gave a dish of sandwiches to me. She made it with her hands. I was impressed by her deep concern and I was thankful to her. She was shy. On the contrary she did not pride about her food skills.

She said to me,
“When you called me, your voice was too tired.”
“Be careful, take care of yourself!”
She is as tender as a mother. Because of her aid, I can forget strange foreign life in Penang for a while.

My husband and I ate the sandwiches, which were as sugary as honey and it was delicious food. Maybe the reason is not our hunger but her lovely mind.

“The neighborhood is my cousin.”

It is a proverb in Korea. It means that the neighborhood, who lives near is better than my relation who lives far. When I am urgent, a neighbor can help me from time to time. They are more familiar because they live next door.

Aiko is the first Japanese friend in Penang. Now she lives as a neighbor. First time I met her when I went to British Council, she was my classmate and we always were in the same group so we became close. When I talk with her I feel that she is similar with me.

She also likes Penang which has diverse culture and beautiful nature. She has an open mind and she tries to understand other people even though they are different from her thinking and religion. These are her good things.

Japan and Korea had been enemies with each other in history but she apologizes to me for Japan commits aggression to Korea. We talk about how to live and what life is true.

I often cannot understand her speech, but it is no problem. We have become an intimate friend. I will learn Japanese so I would like to talk with her more than now.

When I Look at the Sky in Penang

When I stayed at Sri York condominium, it was a calm house where nobody visited and called to me.

I came across the time. Then, my feelings changed variously. It was raining, just now it stopped, suddenly the sun shone. Sometimes it becomes an active volcano, finally it changed into smooth wind.

I go out to a balcony, so I see over the sky. The cloud looks very low. It made diverse shapes like children drawing it innocently.

I imagine that it springs out to the sky perpendicularity. It seems to come into bloom in thick clouds. When I see floatable cloud, I feel that I am not a human being but a supernatural being. My body gets loose.

As sunset, I listened to a praying sound, which a certain man reads the Koran. When it is mixed a red sky, I shouted a sigh of admiration. It is live music, beautiful and peaceful sound. I am cured, the tired spirit becomes pure.

These feelings are forgotten from a certain moment. I am busy because I have worked. I didn’t have time. Only I experienced with indirectness through looking and listening at television.

Last week, I moved out Sri York. When I looked for a new house, I considered a house that I could view nature. I don’t like downtown which is complicated.

I recognized; It is the happy life that I can listen sound of the inside in nature.

Now, I can see the sea at the balcony in my new house every time. There are many birds which awaken me. What a wonderful day!

Thinking about 'Karma'

Since I entered KDU College 3 weeks ago, I have met many international students. They lived at the city like Shenyang or Medan which I have never heard and enjoy food like Laksa or Tomyam which is awful for me. Nevertheless, we made friendship in a moment after introducing our names to each other.

Accordingly, nowadays I think about the word 'Karma', which means fateful meeting in Buddhism. Buddhists believe that if I meet anyone one time in present life I must have met him 3,000 times in previous life. Whenever this interesting story come across my mind, I imagine the next, looking at the face of my classmates.

"What is the guy's relation to me?"
"That girl whom I had seen somewhere might be my lover."

Well then, I feel more friendly.

According to a Chinese Legend, when a person is born, he has a red thread which is unvisible and is connected to others who will give influence to his life. It is very mysterious to think that my red thread is connected with my classmates over the seas long time ago, and I wonder what we interact each other in our life.

Even though I cannot change my Karma, I am happy to meet them and I want to tie my red thread to theirs tighter.

Missing My Mother

8th May is “The day for parents” in Korea. The children thank parents who have born and brought them up. They give the parents many gifts and dine out with their parents.

I telephoned to my mother in the morning. She was happy to get my call. And she wanted to meet with us quickly. I hope so as soon as possible.

My mother gave birth to me when she was forty years old. Because of an aftereffect, she was sick for a long time.

After I graduated from high school, I hoped to go to the university. But my father didn’t want to send me to the university. He had a traditional mind. He thought that woman didn’t need to go to the university.

But my mother cheered me up and she persuaded my father.

“Woman also has to study. Please, change your mind.”

Finally, my father agreed with my mother’s opinion.

My father passed away two years ago and my mother lives alone now. Therefore, I am very sad.

In August, I will invite her and my elder brother’s family to Penang. She has not been abroad yet. Tonight, I would like to meet them in a dream.

I Leave Sri York Become Familiar

Today I’ll move out of Sri York Condominium of which I was a resident four months ago. Because the landlord of my house, Mr. Chandran is going to migrate to Australia, I have to pack my load and leave this place to become a nomad again.

Everything that I met in Sri York made my tired body and mind from working hard in Korea recovered. The blue sky as low as in my arms, the floating clouds, the flying birds, the showering squall, the rainbow after raining, the splendor of the setting sun, the laying moon, the frogs’ singing sound breaking the silence of the night, and etc. Really nature was a drawing and a music.

The people at Sri York also helped me to remove the strange feelings of the foreign life. Every morning they gave me the merry greetings ‘Good Morning’ first and always answered to my questions kindly.

Today in the evening, I'll build my new nest in Batu Feringghi. While Sri York located at the foot of the Penang Hill made me recognize the beauty of nature changing every moment, I wonder very much what I will feel in my new house with an outlook over the sea. Well, the second chapter of my life in Penang starts now!

Missing My Father

Since I came here last year, when I taste delicious food or meet a beautiful sight, I have longed for my parents to be beside me, especially last Thursday when it was my father’s birthday. I miss my father very much.

My father has made his today through his own efforts because my grandparents passed away when he was very young. Whenever I see the rough burn marks on his neck, arms and legs, I remember how hard his life was.

He is a man of few words, but he is considerate and loves me and my brothers so much that he gives us almost everything we want. He has always respected my decision and if he thought I was going the wrong way, he would say to me, “Whose child are you?” to make me reflect on myself.

He also used to bring us when he helped others. Maybe he wanted his children to experience the pleasure of giving a helping hand and to become altruists.

In the last few years, my father’s hair has become grayer and his face has wrinkled so much that some people fail to recognize him. Yet, he still works over 12 hours everyday in his pharmacy. Now I wish that he will retire honorably and live the rest of his life comfortably. I’ll try to realize that wish.